Hello, I’m from Italy, and I’m 14. I’m sorry if I make some English mistakes but I just don’t know who to ask anymore.
I feel lost, because I don’t know if I have a personality disorder. I have done a lot of tests on internet, I’ve read about narcissistic personality disorder, I’ve read about the symptoms and I find myself in about all of them. I feel like I’m better than everyone, I’m more beautiful, I only know how everything is going, I’m more intelligent and I have control on everything and everyone.
I don’t feel a lot of empathy with other’s people feelings. I pretend, I lie and also manipulate people for my own goals, or for fun. I’ve hurt a person recently because I’ve explicitly told her that I don’t need her, I don’t feel any guilt for what I’ve done. I’m a different person with everyone. I don’t know who I am anymore. The other problem is that if I have that disorder I’d be glad. I think it’s because i would be different from everyone, for me being different is the main goal.
I’m not really living, I spend my free time at the mirror talking and daydreaming about unworkable scenarios, living in things that aren’t real. I want everything to be perfect, here’s why I don’t have many friends, and I often feel alone.
I finish this “letter” saying that 2 months ago I’ve tried cutting myself, I didn’t do it because I felt depressed or something, I just wanted to feel something. I’ve stopped 3 weeks ago, my wrists are completely okay, I didn’t cut that bad, and the scars won’t remain.
I slapped myself in the cheek for what I’ve done, I told myself that I was weak, and that I’ve been stupid.
Anyway, I hope I didn’t do so many mistakes and to receive the answer soon, to understand what passes in my and what am I.
Thank you for listening me.I Think I’m a Narcissist
I Think I’m a Narcissist
The teen years are a time when people ask the big questions of life. It’s a time when people figure out who they are and how they want to belong to the social world. One way people do that is by thinking about different scenarios and trying out different behaviors and feelings and even friends. Everyone wants to be special in some way. The problem to solve is how to accomplish that and still be someone others want to have as a friend. It’s often a time of huge turmoil with lots of emotional ups and downs. Because of all this, it’s not at all unusual for teens to meet the criteria of a narcissistic personality disorder. But it’s what is called a “false-positive.” According to the DSM-5, in order to be diagnosed with a personality disorder, a person has to have “an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectation of the individual’s culture, is pervasive and inflexible, has an onset in adolescence and is stable over time.” You simply haven’t lived long enough yet to have an “enduring pattern” or to have developed a personality that is pervasive and inflexible.
Rather than seeking a diagnosis, I think you need to be doing the work of a teen — figuring out how to make friends and deciding the direction for your life. Giving yourself a label isn’t going to help you do that. In fact, even if you have a label, you still have the same challenges everybody else has. If you can’t start figuring things out, maybe you want to see a counselor for a while to get some direction.
I wish you well.