You did the right thing by asking for help. By doing so, you significantly increase the probability of remedying this issue and hopefully getting treatment for your drug problem.
As you anticipated, your use of crystal meth makes it difficult to determine if your experiences are real or not. It increases the possibility that these experiences are side effects of the drugs, but we can’t rule out the possibility that these experiences are real.
You are not asking an irrational question, but it can’t be answered by me over the Internet. You need an objective, third-party who can assist you in making this determination. It might be the only way to know with certainty what is real and what is not.
My recommendation is that you consult a mental health professional and describe your symptoms. They, of course, will be concerned about your use of crystal meth and understandably might attribute these experiences to your drug use, however they can help you know if your paranoia is warranted. Choose a mental health professional who has experience with substance abuse treatment. He or she would be in the best position to help you.
I applaud your courage for asking this question and admitting your use of crystal meth, but your ultimate goal should be to stop using drugs. Your continued use of crystal meth can and very likely will destroy your life. There is help for you if you’re willing to seek it. I hope that you will. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle