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Wanting to Get Back with My Ex…

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18 from England: Me and my ex broke up about two months ago, it was mutual. It wasn’t working. But he text me yesterday asking how I was, etc! The conversation went on for ages! I found out from a friend that he is seeing this girl that he slept with after we broke up. He also mentioned there were no labels at all because they didn’t want that. He keeps flirting with me, and I’m still in love with him. But he blows hot and cold. How can I possibly get back the guy I love if he’s seeing someone else? He says he cares for me so much and I’ll ask always have a place in his heart! What do I do to get him back? Please help!!

Wanting to Get Back with My Ex…

Answered by on -


I wouldn’t make your self too available. He wants his cake and eat it too — and that certainly doesn’t sound like what you are after. If you want to flirt with him fine — but don’t get your hopes up. Don’t make suggestions, and don’t make yourself available.

He’s banking on your vulnerability so that he could add you to the list of women he can be with. There’s not much there for you and trying to wrestle him out of another relationship he doesn’t want to be out of will only bring you heartache.

Take very good care of yourself here. Keep him at a distance. If he really wants to be with you let him work to be your boyfriend. Don’t return to him too soon.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Wanting to Get Back with My Ex…

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Wanting to Get Back with My Ex…. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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