From the U.S: So, i started high school freshman year 3 days ago, and I have made 0 friends. Before this, I went to an extremely small private school and this year I am in a giant public high school. Anyway, my mom told me that plenty of students also didn’t know each other. I know she was just trying to make me feel better, but she is terribly wrong. EVERYONE, even the shy introverted students, have a clique here. I have talked to a few people here, and they talked back, but it didn’t mean anything. I don’t have any REAL friends.
During lunch period I go to the library and work on homework. On the first day, I went to the lunch room and people were all talking to their friends and having a blast and I was just standing awkwardly trying to find someone who seemed welcoming or alone. After standing awkward in people’s way for about a minute, I just dashed out and went to the library, where I have been for the past days during lunch. It sucks so much, and I’m sick of being alone.
I realize it’s only my third day, but I have had countless friend problems in the past, and no one has barely looked in my direction. In Chemistry, there was a shy girl sitting next to me, and I tried talking to her but her answers were so concise I simply didn’t no how to continue the conversation. I believe I’m a natural extrovert in a way, but I come across as introverted because I don’t know how to begin friendships. I am extroverted in the way that once I have a friendship, i love it and don’t care about “alone time.” I have a couple super close friends from my old school who are friends with me simply because we have been friends since first grade. Back then, I wasn’t shy in the slightest — I was one of the most outgoing person in the grade. Every year, I got less and less outgoing. I’m shy and awkward, and whenever I talk to people i don’t know I say weird/stupid embarrassing things.
I’m terrified I am going to be this way for my whole life. At night I can barely sleep because I’m anxious for school and scared. My mom has a friend who she went to high school with, and her daughter is in my grade. So over the summer my mom and I got together with her and her daughter, trying to get us to be friends. Though it was a bit forced, I acted really nonchalant. She’s super nice and a little shy, but I don’t have any of her classes and I have only seen her once. I know this may sound pathetic/jealous, but I was kinda hoping she didn’t have many friends, only because I am better at creating a friendship with someone who is a little lonely, like me. But the one time I saw her in the hallway and said hi, she was walking with three people and they were all laughing and having a good time.
My sister is a senior at the high school, but she and I aren’t close so it’s not helpful. My eldest sister, who is in college, is awesome and funny and I right now (she hasn’t started term yet) when I come home and she’s sometimes there it cheers me up. I don’t want her to go to college, because she is the only one who understands me and cares. If i look sad at home, my parents just think I’m pathetic. I’m truly not — I care deeply about education and I get good grades.