You’re making a mistake by not seeking professional help. You are not a mental health professional. Leave issues of mental health to the professionals. Few mental health professionals could design a tuned inductive circuit. They would wisely leave it up to an electrical engineer. Chess is based on logic and as a logical person you should come to the logical conclusion that you are not qualified to diagnose yourself and most certainly not qualified to treat yourself. Get help. You have your life ahead of you and it can easily be the rich life that you have desired. The key is to simply to make up your mind that seeking help is the right thing to do.
If you were having physical health symptoms, would you judge it as “too much of a risk” to consult a medical professional? I highly doubt it.
Mental health symptoms are every bit as serious as physical health symptoms in the sense that they require professional treatment. You are no more equipped to treat your own mental health symptoms than you would be to treat your own physical health symptoms. That is true not just for you but for all laypersons.
You’re worried that seeking help is “too much of a risk” but not seeking help is a much greater risk. Based on your letter, your symptoms have not improved and have made your life more difficult. Seeking help to prevent your symptoms from worsening is much less of a risk than allowing the symptoms to grow out of control to the point where you have lost your ability to think rationally. Without intervention, your symptoms could progress to the point where you are unable to complete your electrical engineering degree. Thus, the longer you wait to seek help, the bigger the risk you are taking.
You insightfully recognize that a problem exists. I hope that you can also recognize the importance of seeking professional help before this problem further disrupts your life.
Virtually all colleges have counseling centers where students can receive free mental health counseling. In cases where longer-term care is needed, the counseling center staff can refer you to specialists in the community. I urge you to utilize those services so you can prevent the development of future problems. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle