It all started around last Christmas when my dad bought my mom a ipad, her text messages get sent to her iPad and one day her ringer went off that said she had a new message. My mom wasn’t home so I decided to look. The message said “good morning beautiful, I miss you” and attached was a photo of a guy. Now recently I have been seeing a lot more text messages and photos and at the end of July my mom went to Tennessee with her best friend but I just got on her best friends Facebook today and she had gone to a baseball game with her family the weekend my mom was gone. I am completely heartbroken because my dad is deeply in love with my mom and treats her so well and they have been married for 21 years now. My mom doesn’t like kissing my dad and doesn’t even like hugging him, he doesn’t know anything and it kills me because I know and he doesn’t. I love my dad so much but I don’t know what to do. Because I don’t want to confront my mom because I don’t want to see my family fall apart. But then again it is tearing me apart knowing that my dad treats my mom soooo well and she is taking it forIt all started around last Christmas when my dad bought my mom a ipad, her text messages granted. The other day I was caught crying because I had seen another text message with a picture saying I miss you and love you and it made me so upset, my mom is the one who saw me and she asked me what was wrong ad I refused to tell her. I sometimes see my mom text this number saying I love you. I can’t remember the last time my mom said that to my dad. I don’t know what to do or who to talk too. (age 16, from U.S.)
A: I’m sorry that you are in this painful position. This is one good reason to respect other people’s privacy. Sometimes we get information that we would rather not have, but once you know it, you can’t go back to not knowing it. As painful as this is for you, your parent’s marriage is not your responsibility. They need to work through their own issues and you need to focus on being a teenager.
However, I do think that you need to talk to someone about what you have discovered or it will continue to eat you up inside. I would suggest that you first confide in a trusted adult, possibly an aunt, grandparent or adult family friend. For one, it will relieve some of your stress because you won’t be carrying this burden alone, and second, hopefully this person will have some insight on how best to handle the situation because they know your parents.
Unfortunately, affairs are fairly common these days. Some couples are able to work through it and can remain together, others cannot. Either way, I’m sure your parents love you very much and would not want you to be hurt. I’m really sorry that you are going through this and hope that there is a peaceful resolution.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts
I Think My Mom Is Having an Affair
Holly Counts, Psy.D.
Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.
APA Reference Counts, H. (2018). I Think My Mom Is Having an Affair. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/09/23/i-think-my-mom-is-having-an-affair/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 23 Sep 2014) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.