Transference is a common and understandable phenomenon. Your therapist is kind, sympathetic, compassionate, someone who listens to you. Those are the things that many people desire in a romantic partner, but this is not a romantic setting. The relationship between you and your therapist is professional. That is something you must keep in mind. There may be 25 other clients who feel exactly the same way about him because he is equally as kind and sympathetic and compassionate to them as he is to you.
Therapists receive extensive training in transference. As you learned from your research, it is a very common experience. You don’t have to worry about “overwhelming” him. That will not happen. You have faith and trust in him in all other areas. Have that same faith and trust in this area as well.
You trust him to handle the situation well and you must reciprocate by handling the situation appropriately. He must not allow the situation to become sexual and just as importantly, neither can you. You cannot control how you feel but you can control your behavior. Empower yourself by simply and entirely ruling out any sexual contact between you and your therapist. It cannot be a possibility in your mind. If it is, I would suggest changing therapists. You need him as a therapist, not a sexual partner and he cannot be both things.
It is vitally important for you to be as honest as possible with your therapist. You are withholding important information about aspects of your history and your current feelings about him. By not revealing this information, you are doing yourself a disservice. It could hinder your progress in therapy and make it difficult for you to grow. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle