I don’t really know what is wrong with me. I don’t consider myself depressed, but I feel so careless at times and life is just passing me by. I still laugh and try to engage in conversation, but it feels different. I feel different. I mostly stay home and keep to myself. And when I do talk to others, like to my family or friends back home, it all feels fake and I do not know what to say. I’m not sure if its cause I’m overwhelmed with life itself, since I am transitioning from teenager to a young adult. Maybe I’m scared, I don’t know, but I just don’t know what to do about anything, or myself. I feel lost. I have nothing that gives me drive nor motivation. I often catch myself wishing my life was different and easy to manage. I know suicide is not an option or a solution, especially because of all the people I would leave behind. I do care for my friends and family, I can say that much. I’m always there for them and always intend to be. But maybe that’s the problem, I live for others and not myself? I just don’t know what I should do or what I want to do about anything–school, career, relationships with others–my life. Please, if you can, help me figure this out. I really don’t have anyone to turn to. Thank you to whoever took the time out to read my rants, haha. Still can make jokes though!
Being able to make jokes when you are not feeling your best is a very good thing. You hit on many of the possible reasons for your feelings. The first year of college is perhaps one of the greatest transitions a young person can go through. Everything is up in the air, everything is new, and nothing is nailed down about the future.
The truth is I’d be surprised if you were calm and serene during this hectic transition. The university you’re at has counselors that are highly trained and available for you at either low or no cost. I would highly recommend you make an appointment to have a discussion with one of these therapists. They can help you sort through the angst and come up with a game plan that should be helpful.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). What Is the Matter with Me?. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 16, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/09/21/what-is-the-matter-with-me/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.