I don’t really know what is wrong with me. I don’t consider myself depressed, but I feel so careless at times and life is just passing me by. I still laugh and try to engage in conversation, but it feels different. I feel different. I mostly stay home and keep to myself. And when I do talk to others, like to my family or friends back home, it all feels fake and I do not know what to say. I’m not sure if its cause I’m overwhelmed with life itself, since I am transitioning from teenager to a young adult. Maybe I’m scared, I don’t know, but I just don’t know what to do about anything, or myself. I feel lost. I have nothing that gives me drive nor motivation. I often catch myself wishing my life was different and easy to manage. I know suicide is not an option or a solution, especially because of all the people I would leave behind. I do care for my friends and family, I can say that much. I’m always there for them and always intend to be. But maybe that’s the problem, I live for others and not myself? I just don’t know what I should do or what I want to do about anything–school, career, relationships with others–my life. Please, if you can, help me figure this out. I really don’t have anyone to turn to. Thank you to whoever took the time out to read my rants, haha. Still can make jokes though!What Is the Matter with Me?
What Is the Matter with Me?
Being able to make jokes when you are not feeling your best is a very good thing. You hit on many of the possible reasons for your feelings. The first year of college is perhaps one of the greatest transitions a young person can go through. Everything is up in the air, everything is new, and nothing is nailed down about the future.
The truth is I’d be surprised if you were calm and serene during this hectic transition. The university you’re at has counselors that are highly trained and available for you at either low or no cost. I would highly recommend you make an appointment to have a discussion with one of these therapists. They can help you sort through the angst and come up with a game plan that should be helpful.