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Boyfriend Is an Alcoholic

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This man’s entire house is 2500 sq.ft. with a bed and boxspring only in his room with a motley assortment of desks and dressers, ALL the furniture except the couch are castoffs from his parents, he keeps his childhood things in the basement, uses utensils that are all artsy with weird curved handles rendering them practically useless (given to him by sister). He is thinks he is better than everyone (especially me), has no friends, drinks every night after work and sometimes starts before 9am on weekends so we don’t go anywhere, but he will drop everything when dear Mom calls and asks for him to drive an hour for a visit. She calls him he dear sweet boy and send a God-awful computer generated card that was clearly meant for a 4 year old, not a 44 year old!! QUESTION: How can I disengage from him without incurring his selfish LOOK AT ME TALK TO ME!! nonsense. I am trying to move and we are essentially roommates now. I am also interested in your take as to what his problem is. He is a mechanic, quite illiterate and has atrocious handwriting and spelling. I think he may be semi-retarded to be honest. Advice and insight?

Boyfriend Is an Alcoholic

Answered by on -

A.

The question really seems to be: Why you are still there? This man does not sound very loving, appears to have a drinking problem, and seems emotionally immature. I wouldn’t invest a lot of time and finessing the ending. It seems clear from your email that you’ve had it.

While it’s not possible to render a diagnosis for your boyfriend your own intuition tells you that he doesn’t have your best interests on the top of his list. Isn’t this enough to move on?

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Boyfriend Is an Alcoholic

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Boyfriend Is an Alcoholic. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/09/13/boyfriend-is-an-alcoholic/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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