I can’t make a diagnosis on the basis of a short letter, of course. But I can tell you that what you are reporting may indicate that you are experiencing the symptoms of Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). This is one way that people who suffer sexual abuse protect themselves.
Please go back to your therapist and take your letter with you to show her. I assure you, your therapist won’t be shocked by your experience and won’t judge you. What she may be able to do is help you sort through your feelings so that you can face them and deal with them as your conscious self. By processing your feelings, you will learn to stay present and you will free yourself of your thoughts of self-harm and death.
Please give your therapist the opportunity to help you. She can only work with what you give her. You can only benefit from your work with her by digging deep and being as honest as you know how to be. You are worth the effort.
I wish you well.