Hello, I am currently starting treatment for lifelong psychological issues. I am extremely uncomfortable about this process and would like to ask a question here which I would rather not talk with my therapist about.
I am asexual, that is I do not feel attraction; however, I do have spontaneous feelings of sexuality during the process of taking life. The act excites me greatly even when it is nonsexual in nature. I cannot find information on this, I can’t tell if this is just sadomasochism or something different. I do not feel this way about causing pain. I am not attracted to corpses. Is this a “hair trigger” subject which will cause problems if it comes up in counseling? Can you recommend any literature on the subject? I would like to better understand it and myself. Thank you.Sexual Deviation
What you might be describing is sadistic tendencies. Psychological studies have found that there are a number of “well-adjusted people” who experience sadistic tendencies. The researchers were careful to note that having sadistic tendencies does not make an individual a sexual deviant. Most people try to avoid causing pain to others, but they noted that some people gain an emotional benefit from causing suffering to others.
As you can see, there are other people who have these types of feelings. You did not cause yourself to be sexually aroused by certain things. You are simply observing a feeling that you have and are describing it. Therapists understand that and will not judge you. They receive extensive training about sexual problems and sexual fetishes. There’s nothing that you can say that will be offensive or surprising.
I hope that you will reconsider discussing this issue with your therapist. It’s important that you not withhold any information in therapy. It will hinder your progress. Your therapist cannot properly help you if you keep secrets. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle