From the U.S.: Hi, my girlfriend and I have been together for 2yrs and we have and 8 month old together. The reason I’m here is because within the last couple months my girlfriend has changed a lot. When we first got together she couldn’t keep her hands off of me, but now she won’t hug or kiss me willingly. She’s all about her friends with very little interest in me. She goes out almost every weekend to drink with them when she used to NEVER drink. I’m just terrified that I may lose her and I don’t want that to happen. I’m just lost. She says that she loves me but doesn’t show it at all like she used to. I just don’t know if she’s cheating on me or what. Please help!!!
It sounds to me like your girlfriend is having a very difficult time making the transition to being a partner and mother. Having a baby really does change everything. Her body is still settling down from childbirth. Her responsibilities may be overwhelming her. In response, she is trying to reclaim being a carefree single. By going out and drinking with friends, she is able to avoid facing her fears and her responsibilities. This is dangerous to her mental health, destructive to your relationship and possibly harmful to your child.
She isn’t going to respond well to accusations or scolding. It will be more helpful if you recognize how scared she is and sympathize with how hard it is to adjust to being a parent. Ask her to make an appointment with her doctor to make sure her body is adjusting as it should. Suggest that it might be important for the two of you to go to a counselor to talk about how you will make a life and a family together. Love her. Love her a lot. My guess is that she isn’t loving herself very much and needs to be reminded that you and your child love her and need her.
I wish you well. Dr. Marie
My Girlfriend Doesn’t Show Me Love
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My Girlfriend Doesn’t Show Me Love. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/09/08/my-girlfriend-doesnt-show-me-love/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.