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Wasn’t Allowed to Speak

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My parents adopted me when I was six months old and kept me from talking as a child, but I was okay with it because they were usually working and had their business partners at the house, so I was always quiet and didn’t interrupt. But it wasn’t just when they had business; I had to be silent all the time. They were also strict but I know they love me because they were never mean to me or anything of the sort. Now that I’m older, I feel nervous about talking to anyone about anything. My boyfriend knows my situation and is trying to help me, but I don’t want to disappoint my parents by speaking because that’s what they taught me not to do. I wasn’t allowed to speak. I don’t know what I should do and I’m scared. Please help.

Wasn’t Allowed to Speak

Answered by on -


My guess is there is more to your story. Parents who intentionally limit an essential part of their child’s development are likely to have made other poor judgments.

I would highly recommend working with a psychologist who specializes in clinical psychology or a clinically certified speech therapist. Both of these types of professionals should be able to help you with your situation. They may also be able to do some testing to pinpoint how to help.

Since you were still in high school you may want to see if there is a speech therapist on your child study team. Making an appointment with him or her can be a good first step in making a correction.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Wasn’t Allowed to Speak

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Wasn’t Allowed to Speak. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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