No one “needs” to kill. Maybe you picked up this idea through your viewing of television or reading certain types of books. Some people experience homicidal fantasies when they feel powerless in the world or want to control people.
You are drawn to the idea of killing but I don’t suspect you’ve considered the real-life consequences of it. Killing is evil; virtually every religion says so. If you were to carry out your fantasy, you would likely spend many years or the rest of your life in prison. You would lose your freedom; you would essentially lose your life, or actually be executed. You would also be causing great harm to an untold number of families, yours included.
I would recommend that you consult a therapist about this issue. Ask your parents to assist you in choosing a therapist. Therapy could help you to explore why you have these fantasies and teach you how to eliminate them. It could also assist you in improving your psychological health which could serve to prevent these types of negative thoughts. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle