From the U.S.: I’m 44 and have a 15 yr history with husband. We have a 13 yo son with some special needs. Been through hell with this man, who started using crack before our son was 2, abusive while using. Verbally/emotionally and some physical. Got Married in 2007. I filed for divorce in 2009, which was put on hold in 2010. August 2013 he began seizing at work, blood sugar almost 900. I almost lost him. This caused him to become dependent on me as he could no longer work or drive. I became resentful and began pushing him away. My brother had a tumor on his spine. Our son has ODD was lying to me about my husband and I believed our son. So I got protective order, had husband removed from home. I am now questioning my actions. Questioning divorce. Hurting over hurting husband. But I don’t know if husband has girlfriend or just roommate in matter of 3 months. I’m so confused!

A: First — you are confused because this situation is incredibly confusing. You have a lot going on; more than most people can handle. You also have a complicated history with your husband. I certainly do sympathize, but I think you need far more help than an advice column can give you. You need ongoing support from a therapist and maybe advice from a lawyer.

I strongly urge you to find a family therapist to help you sort through the many issues you raised here and perhaps to get some help in managing your son now that he has entered his teens. You deserve the support.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie