I don’t have enough information to know what might be wrong and why you are reluctant to stay in therapy. It’s possible that you simply haven’t found a competent therapist. Lacking confidence in your therapist might explain why you are unwilling to take his or her advice.
It’s also possible that you are not ready to change. Sometimes people become stuck in their ways and even though they say they want help, they don’t act accordingly. They think they know better than their therapist.
You mentioned that you might have autism. Autism is associated with rigidity which can make behavioral changes difficult. If you do in fact have autism, it could be contributing to your problem.
You also said that you can be “insufferably stubborn and unable to change if you can’t do it [your] way.” If you are attempting to impose your will upon the therapist and then quitting when it does not go your way, that would be a big mistake.
At times therapy can be unpleasant, unsatisfying and emotionally painful but it is necessary to grow and to prosper. If you’re willing to return to therapy again, try not to impose your will upon the therapist. You admitted that your way isn’t working and that you don’t “have the tools” to fix your own problems. If you truly believe that, then act accordingly and allow your therapist to his or her job.
The book The Road Less Traveled by M. Scott Peck discusses some of the issues that you are facing. It might help you to understand your resistance to change. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle