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Oversensitive and Begging for Love

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I have been told by my husband that I am over sensitive. I cry a lot, a lot of his “jokes” make me feel bad about myself. When he is mad, he treats me in a nasty, rude way. Most of the times it is because something is not the way he likes it (maybe 2 out of 5 times that he finds something the way he does not like it). When we fight, he wants to be left alone and I need him with me so I beg him for a reconciliation, a hug… Most of the times I end up apologizing even when I know it is not my fault only to be fine with him again. He says things like: you look like a fool begging, go away I don’t want to see you or listen to you, I am tired of you being so sensitive, If I hug you, will you stop being so annoying (because I am crying or begging)… I cry a lot and feel that nothing is worth it if we are apart… I hate feeling that I would love to learn how to let go and just not care about his moods or his rude, nasty way of treating me when he is mad… Also, I cannot talk to him whenever I want or tell him (even in a good way) what is bothering me because he gets annoyed… What do I do?… please help me! I need to stop feeling so bad when he is being mean to me… I need to just not care and learn how to wait until he approaches me… Thank you for your help. I am miserable right now and don’t want to live like this any more.

Oversensitive and Begging for Love

Answered by on -

A.

I think there are several ways to respond. The first would be to begin individual therapy, and find out the history of this reaction of yours. Second, and probably more direct, would be going into couples therapy where your husband could learn more adaptive reactions as well. The find help tab at the top of the page will help you locate someone in your country.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Oversensitive and Begging for Love

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Oversensitive and Begging for Love. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/08/07/oversensitive-and-begging-for-love/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.