You are concerned about the normality of your experiences and I share your concerns. It’s not normal to have the urge to kill. It may indicate that you are feeling out of control, not thinking clearly and you may be a danger to others.
Your symptoms also seem to suggest that you have difficulty distinguishing reality from non-reality. The urge to kill, isolation and losing touch with reality are concerning symptoms.
I would strongly urge you to have a psychiatric evaluation. The purpose of an evaluation is to determine if a mental health condition is present and if so, to identify the most appropriate intervention. Ask your primary care physician for a referral for a psychiatric evaluation. Make sure to involve your parents in this matter.
You should also go to the hospital if you feel out of control or believe that you may harm someone else or feel that you are losing touch with reality.
Intervention is important in cases where an individual feels that he or she might be dangerous or is losing touch with reality. With the right treatment, your symptoms can be controlled or eliminated, allowing you to return to a healthy state of mind. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle