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My Wife is Being Paranoid

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Hello. I am having hard time with my wife, she has some serious diagnosed paranoia and chronic anxiety. She has started to be paranoid about anything I say, like nothing is ever true that I am telling her. And now the problem has aggravated to explosive bursts of anger, and I am losing my hope, I don’t know how to cope with her, I am always “walking on eggs”. She thinks that everyone is against her, and now it includes me, as well. I love my wife and I do not want to give up. How can I deal with person who has this kind of problems without making her upset, and how can I be supportive in a way she actually believes that I do care and want to help her? Thank you for your answers, in advance.

My Wife is Being Paranoid

Answered by on -


A: Thanks for writing in with your question. The short answer: if you meant that she has “diagnosed” paranoia, then you need to get involved in her treatment, but if you meant to say “undiagnosed,” then you need to help her get into treatment. The latter is obviously more complicated.

If she is seeing a therapist or psychiatrist already, I would let her know that you would like to attend some sessions with her so that you can learn how to be more supportive. You could even call the treatment provider yourself to express the same thing, although, understand that they won’t tell you anything about her treatment without her permission. That’s why it would be best to go with her.

If she is not already in treatment, it can be very difficult to get someone with anxiety and paranoia to get help, but if you love her, you will try. You might start by talking with her medical doctor to get some guidance and referrals, as well as your insurance company so you will know who is covered. It might also be helpful to contact the closest chapter of NAMI to get information, support and resources.

If all else fails and her paranoia gets extreme or she begins losing touch with reality, you might need to take her to the ER to be evaluated, or at least call your local crisis line for help.

You are in a difficult situation and I hope that your wife gets some help and you are able to save your marriage.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts

My Wife is Being Paranoid

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Holly Counts, Psy.D.

Dr. Holly Counts is a licensed Clinical Psychologist. She utilizes a mind, body and spirit approach to healing. Dr. Counts received her Bachelor’s degree in Psychology from Wright State University and her Masters and Doctoral degrees in Clinical Psychology from Nova Southeastern University. Dr. Counts has worked in a variety of settings and has specialized in trauma and abuse, relationship issues, health psychology, women’s issues, adolescence, GLBT, life transitions and grief counseling. She has specialty training in guided imagery, EMDR, EFT, hypnosis and using intuition to heal. Her current passion involves integrating holistic and alternative approaches to health and healing with psychology.

APA Reference
Counts, H. (2018). My Wife is Being Paranoid. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 29 Jul 2014)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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