I have a 5 month old baby,and plan to leave for military basic training when she is 8 months old. I planned to leave her with her Grandmother and her father, both in which she has seen everyday since the day she was born. Her grandmother plans to leave work and stay home with her 24/7 upon my leave in order to give her the same love and attention that I have given her by being a stay at home mother throughout her life thus far. My concern is my leaving her for 3 months while I’m in basic training, will effect her mentally and emotionally in a negative way and possibly long term. Or will she adjust due to the fact that she is well acquainted with her soon to be caregiver and live a normal life.

A: Thanks for your thoughtful question. The fact that as a mom you are asking this already tells me what good hands your daughter is in. Good parents ask these kinds of questions. She will adjust. I think you are doing the right thing by making sure she has a 24/7 loving caregiver. I don’t think this will have deleterious effects it all and, with the advent of Skype and other technologies, you’ll be able to stay in touch on a regular basis.

You’ve already got a great bond with your baby. I know this arrangement isn’t the ideal setting, but from what I know about human resilience and infant development — this will be a good alternative.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral