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Can’t Stop Thinking about Men Hurting Me

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I constantly make up scenarios in my head about a school teacher I had 8 years ago, each one contains an accident where he hits me or a misunderstanding whereby I think he’s going to hurt me. In these scenarios the school teacher has to then convince me that he is a good person and will look after me and not hurt me. In these scenarios, I’m normally a child and I always forgive him/believe him.

In the past when I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve substituted this teacher for the man I’ve been with and when I do that I imagine myself to be my current age but again I always forgive/believe them.

I do this daily, sometimes more than once a day and I feel like it’s weird and I want to stop doing it but I don’t know how.

Can’t Stop Thinking about Men Hurting Me

Answered by on -


Thank you for you detailed email. I think there may be a variety of reason for this, but because there is a fusion of actual events, corrective imagery, and replacement fantasies I think an experiential therapy would have promise for being effective. Specifically I would encourage you to find an experienced psychodramatist in your area. Psychodrama is an action oriented form of therapy that uses a variety of techniques combined with theory. The British Psychodrama Association is a highly professional group that can help you find someone qualified in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Can’t Stop Thinking about Men Hurting Me

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Can’t Stop Thinking about Men Hurting Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.