I am with the love of my life and we are two peas in a pod, yet lately I have become so angry, rude, and sad for no reason I am afraid I am making it very hard for him to be happy. Our relationship is a dream come true, he is my high school sweetheart and we as a couple are incredible. None of our fights are ever about one another, yet they can become so mean due to my anger. Recently I have not been working much and he is very busy with his job. I have been with him for so long and am very used to our ‘traditional’ memories that when change occurs I tend to freak out, worry and cause an issue when there is none. This makes me sad because I don’t want to be the cause of someone’s unhappiness and I know I need help. When I feel threatened due to insecurities I lash out in order to defend myself however all it does is make him upset, confused and distant. Now that I have all this time to do nothing while he is busy I get angry at him for unreasonable issues. I know my behaviour is wrong yet I do not know how to change it. I don’t want to ruin my relationship due to my own insecurities though I believe I am. What makes me even more upset with my behaviour is he blames my unhappiness on himself. I need your help for I do not want to ruin a good thing for my momentary breakdowns. Please help me to understand why when everything is so good I tend to focus on the negative and truly bring it all down.I Should Be Smiling
I Should Be Smiling
I am so sorry you are having these issues with your boyfriend. It sounds like the change in your feelings has happened at the same time there has been a change in both of your work lives: You’ve been working less, he’s been working more.
This has thrown your world out of balance. And when this happens couples often squabble because each resents the other.
I think a few sessions with the couple counselor would be very helpful to do each of you in finding ways of supporting each other.