I tried telling my mom that I think I am struggling with depression and I bugged her for weeks about getting me a therapist. She agreed to it but never got one for me and it’s totally free with our insurance. I’m really struggling and don’t know what to do about it. Should I find my own and do it behind my mom’s back?

A: You are asking a great question that lots of teenagers probably deal with all the time. You recognize that you need some help but your parents are dragging their feet about making it happen for you. It’s probably not that your mom doesn’t care. It’s most likely that she has just forgotten or doesn’t realize how badly you are hurting.

The good news is that you can take matters into your own hands. Most states have passed laws allowing teens to seek mental health treatment (at least for a few sessions) without needing parental consent. Your state has passed this law.


I’d suggest that you call the number on the back of your insurance card or go to their website to get a list of covered mental health therapists. You can even cross reference these names with other lists such as Psychology Today or Psych Central where you can read profiles of who you feel you might connect with best.

Unless she is really against you seeking help, you don’t have to do it behind your mom’s back. Just make the arrangements and let her know what you’re doing. Chances are, she’ll be impressed with the level of maturity you have shown. I hope this information helps you and others, and that you get to speak with someone soon.

All the best,

Dr. Holly Counts