I understand your concern about your friend’s grandson. It can be distressing. You see that he is struggling and feel that his needs are not being properly addressed, but I believe you’ve done all you can and should try to do. Once you have offered your advice, you can do no more. She is under no obligation to take your advice and you can’t force her to listen to you.
It is also important to keep in mind that you are not a trained clinician, at least you did not identify yourself as such in your letter. Consequently, it’s inappropriate to diagnose her grandson. The diagnosis of mental health disorders can be quite complex, especially among children. You should leave the diagnosing to trained professionals.
Offer your support, tell her what you learned in your research and then realize you have no control in their lives. Anything more might be construed as harassment. It may be difficult to let this go, but you should try not to impose yourself upon others. It’s her life, her grandson and ultimately her problem. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle