I can only guess at why your husband responds this way since I’ve never talked with him. If his father believed that we’re all sinners and that our sinfulness has to be beaten (verbally and physically) out of us, then chances are he parented from that conviction. The route to parental approval in such a household would be to be a martyr. It’s the only way to become a “saint.”
I think your husband needs therapy, not more martyrdom. You can’t be asked to replicate an unhealthy relationship so that he’ll feel better — at the cost of his dignity and self-esteem. It’s unhealthy for both of you.
If he won’t go, go yourself. You could use some new ways to talk to him as well as some support for holding your own line. Once he sees that therapy is helpful to you, your husband may join you.
I wish you well.