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I Think I Want to Meet My Dad

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From Canada: My parents got divorced when I was about 3 years old. I don’t really remember my fahter coming around much after that. He went back to live in Jamaica with his mother. I always overheard rumors about how he’s in a wheelchair, he’s had strokes, all those horrible things. My godfather had tried to help him contact me but my mom refuses to let it happen. I’m 17 now and I’ve been thinking for a couple of years about going to see him at his home.. Just to see if all of it’s true and if he really does miss me.. I’m just not sure how to bring it up to my mom. I don’t think I hate him but I’m really hurt and frustrated and I just want answers. I just want to physically touch or hear him and just.. I just wanna see the dad I saw in all the pictures smiling at me like I was the only light in the world. I miss him.

I Think I Want to Meet My Dad

Answered by on -

A.

It’s absolutely normal for a young person to want to meet the parent who dropped out of her life. You have lots of questions, and you deserve answers. Please prepare yourself for possible disappointment, though. You don’t know this man well enough to miss him. What you are missing is your idea of a dad. The reality may or may not match up with the imagination.

As for talking with your mother: Why not tell her what you told me? Meeting him is no threat to your relationship with her. You are old enough to be able to assess for yourself what kind of man your father is. If you don’t meet him, you will always have questions about who he is and what might have been possible. If she can bring herself to help you set up the meeting, it will only bring you closer to her. I hope she can understand that and give you her blessing to go.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Think I Want to Meet My Dad

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Think I Want to Meet My Dad. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/06/25/i-think-i-want-to-meet-my-dad/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.