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Too Young for Divorce?

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I think I was too young to get married. I met my husband when I was 19, we broke up when I was 21 due to lack of communication and lack of affection. We got back together after he told me things would change. They didn’t, but I decided to accept that since he was a “good guy” and we get along well. We moved in together at 22, engaged at 23, and married at 24. Now I realize that while he tries hard and he is good to me, I still feel unloved. He doesn’t touch me, kiss me, tell me he loves me, or tell me I’m beautiful. We are basically roommates living in one house, sharing chores, never fighting, just co-existing. I have lost most of the physical attraction I had to him, and I no longer enjoy being around him. Is this just a phase I’m going through since I am still young? Is this what marriage is supposed to be like? Or did I make a mistake?

Too Young for Divorce?

Answered by on -


It is not a phase, and it is not what marriage is supposed feel like. The fact is that you’ve had these feelings for a very long time, and they haven’t changed in spite of everyone’s best efforts. I would not prolong this. You may want to talk to a couple’s counselor together first so that the issues can be heard by a third-party, but your age, length of relationship, and the lack of physical attraction and connection can’t be ignored. I would make an appointment soon to talk about this. The “find help” tab at the top of the page will help you locate someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Too Young for Divorce?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Too Young for Divorce?. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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