Me and my wife, both love each other dearly. But our problem always stems to a sort of PMS or PMDD syndrome, where she fixates on what irritated her(which is really nothing) & blames/nags me about it, then goes to my past & how disappointed she is for marrying me, and makes our lives to a point of being miserable, without any solution but separation. I know I could easily blame PMS for this, but on here case its a lot more severe. She will pretty much yell and say hurtful things, and everything gets blown out of proportion if I say a word. Actually, even if I kept quiet while she’s having an episode, things will still get out of hand, threatening to leave me and slam or throw everything she can get a hold of. But after her episode, she will resort back to being loving, compassionate & happy. She said she knows about it, but she can’t help herself.

I know I can just let it pass, but this happens continuously for the next 5-10 days, making both our lives miserable. She knows there’s something wrong & agrees to fix this, which is a good sign. But I would like to hear from you based on what I’m saying. Please note that we both took the sanity test, I scored 70 with everything in blue, while she scored 115 w/ General Coping, Mania, Obsession/Compulsion and Borderline traits on the red.

We have a very good loving family, & I will help my wife as much as I can, but I’m only human too that gets hurt & gets drained with constant negativity. Please help us & advise us on what to do. Thank you!

A. Thank you for you this important letter. The symptoms you are describing can be activated from a variety of sources, so I would begin with a complete medical evaluation. The regularity, intensity, and duration suggest that there is a biochemical basis for this so if a physician — a gynecologist, an endocrinologist, or psychiatrist would be a good first step. This can help nail down the origin of these mood swings.

The love you have for each other and the fact that you can talk about this and jointly approach the issue is perhaps the most important feature of your letter. I admire the fact that the two of you want to find a solution for this together. In the end this will be the most important of all your efforts.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral