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Does My Wife Have Bipolar?

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Me and my wife, both love each other dearly. But our problem always stems to a sort of PMS or PMDD syndrome, where she fixates on what irritated her(which is really nothing) & blames/nags me about it, then goes to my past & how disappointed she is for marrying me, and makes our lives to a point of being miserable, without any solution but separation. I know I could easily blame PMS for this, but on here case its a lot more severe. She will pretty much yell and say hurtful things, and everything gets blown out of proportion if I say a word. Actually, even if I kept quiet while she’s having an episode, things will still get out of hand, threatening to leave me and slam or throw everything she can get a hold of. But after her episode, she will resort back to being loving, compassionate & happy. She said she knows about it, but she can’t help herself.

I know I can just let it pass, but this happens continuously for the next 5-10 days, making both our lives miserable. She knows there’s something wrong & agrees to fix this, which is a good sign. But I would like to hear from you based on what I’m saying. Please note that we both took the sanity test, I scored 70 with everything in blue, while she scored 115 w/ General Coping, Mania, Obsession/Compulsion and Borderline traits on the red.

We have a very good loving family, & I will help my wife as much as I can, but I’m only human too that gets hurt & gets drained with constant negativity. Please help us & advise us on what to do. Thank you!

Does My Wife Have Bipolar?

Answered by on -


Thank you for you this important letter. The symptoms you are describing can be activated from a variety of sources, so I would begin with a complete medical evaluation. The regularity, intensity, and duration suggest that there is a biochemical basis for this so if a physician — a gynecologist, an endocrinologist, or psychiatrist would be a good first step. This can help nail down the origin of these mood swings.

The love you have for each other and the fact that you can talk about this and jointly approach the issue is perhaps the most important feature of your letter. I admire the fact that the two of you want to find a solution for this together. In the end this will be the most important of all your efforts.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Does My Wife Have Bipolar?

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Does My Wife Have Bipolar?. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 24, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 12 Jun 2014)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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