A: Thanks for writing in with your question. The issues you describe here are probably not as uncommon as you think. It can be very difficult to balance cultural differences and nearly impossible to please everyone. It sounds like you respect your parents and want to make them happy, but it is time for you to think about your happiness and your future. You are an adult now and part of being an adult means making adult decisions, and being willing to deal with the consequences of those decisions.
I mean no disrespect to your parents, but at the age of 27 I think you can decide who you want to date, and certainly who you want to go on vacation with. Your boyfriend and his family have every right to be “emotional” and upset. I’m sure they are feeling unfairly judged by your family.
Just because your friends aren’t Asian, does not mean you can’t talk to them about your problems. People don’t have to have the same issues to lend an empathetic ear. However, if you need more support than what they can offer, I suggest that you look into finding a family therapist with a specialty in multi-cultural issues. If you plan to move forward in the relationship with your boyfriend, you may need professional support to help mend bridges with your family. Good luck with this important stage of your life.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts