I live with my parents, and I’m not allowed to go out at all. I hate my job. I don’t go to school anymore. I’m always angry, sad, helpless, hopeless, suicidal but have never really harmed myself; just once that I pressed a knife down the veins beneath my palm. I’ve had rough relationships. All I want to do now is sleep and eat. But there are other times where I just want to run away very far and never come back. I really don’t have a lot of friends, a best friend who can be here for me. No one seems to understand me. I’m lonely in all this tumult. My whole family ignores me from time to time. They sometimes don’t even like having me around. I’ve picked up on some habits. I trust way too easily, very naive. I know I’ve made mistakes in the past, and I have apologized to my parents, but they don’t care. They keep bringing up the past and push me down every single day. I do not feel welcome nor safe much at home. I need professional help fast.
Depression, Anxiety, and Coping Problems
A: Thanks for writing in and I’m sorry you are suffering. I agree that you need to get some help fast. It sounds like you might be experiencing depression, but having a thorough mental health evaluation will tell you more. The fact that you have thought of suicide is even more reason why you need to get help now. If you feel like hurting yourself again, please call a suicide hotline or go to the closest emergency room.
In the meantime, you can search for a therapist a number of ways. If you have health insurance you can contact them for a list of approved providers, you can look on this site (PsychCentral) or Psychology Today and click the find help tab, you can contact your family doctor to ask for a referral or you can contact your local community mental health center. I also hope you will try to reach out to the friends that you do have or try to make new ones. You will need outside support in addition to counseling.
The important thing to know is that life won’t always feel this hopeless, and you can pull through this. You may end up realizing it would be healthier for you to move out of your parent’s home, or once you are feeling better, you might realize they aren’t so bad and you can all come up with some middle ground. Either way, I wish you the all the best and hope you feel better soon.
Dr. Holly Counts