My mom is the second child out of three and is deaf, (both of my parents are deaf and as result, I have felt with most matters since I was young). She gets frequent and very violent outbursts at times and has even gone as far as twisting my father’s hand behind his back in effort to inflict pain upon him, and other times, she’s entirely kind and ordinary. After her outbursts, she goes into a depressive state and apologizes for everything, randomly crying at anything that triggers her as well. I do not want to deal with this anymore as whenever I mention getting help she calls me insane and slaps me. I believe that she has Anger Management issues and a Bipolar Disorder in conclusion. Please help me help her, she is getting worse.

(and no negativity please, I’m only thirteen and i can’t deal with this anymore, I really want my old mommy back, but she never comes.)

A. I’m sorry this has been so difficult for you. My recommendation is that you be honest with your parents about how your mother’s behavior is impacting you. If you don’t feel comfortable bringing this to your mother, then go to your father.

Another option is to bring this matter to the attention of the school counselor or another trusted faculty member. The counselor can gather information about the problem and may be able to intervene on your behalf. He or she might convince your mother or both of your parents to seek counseling.

Are there other adult family members that you can ask to help you? Perhaps one of your relatives can intervene. For instance, your mother has two siblings. They may have ideas about how best to interact with her.

The reality is that your power in this situation is limited. It’s not your job to solve your parent’s problems, but you can and should consult others who may be able to help. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle