Home » Ask the Therapist » Unable to Emotionally Connect

Unable to Emotionally Connect

Asked by on with 1 answer:

No matter how hard I try, I continuously feel disconnected from people and the feeling of not belonging. I am unable to develop meaningful relationships or to connect emotionally whether it is with a friend, family, or boyfriend. I feel like I don’t belong where I am at and that I should choose a completely different path in my life (changing country + career change). It got to a point that I feel disconnected from myself and my feelings. I am a robot. Why do I feel that way?
Thank you for your insights.

Unable to Emotionally Connect

Answered by on -


Thank you for this question. There is a saying: “Wherever you go, there you are.” It means simply making career and geographic changes in your life won’t change the core issues. I would highly recommend you finding a group therapist in your area. Group therapy has three major advantages over individual therapy: First, other people in the group will have experienced the same symptoms and feelings that you’ve indicated here. This means you’re not alone. Secondly, group therapy offers the opportunity for many people to give feedback on your thoughts, feelings and behaviors. You are likely to hear how other people have found a way through these emotions.

Finally you will have a chance to experience the correction that is needed to interact with people in way that leaves you feeling better. Your reactions and inhibitions will be challenged by group members, while you simultaneously feel their support. This is the necessary process to have change take place. The supportive and interactive environment of the group will help you reevaluate your thoughts and feelings for the better. The find help tab at the top of the page can help you locate someone in your area.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Unable to Emotionally Connect

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Unable to Emotionally Connect. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.