I’m 18 and for about half my life I have been fighting to feel good. The fight began as smoking weed and drinking then i went for help started with a few therapist they didn’t understand and recommended i see a psychiatrist as well. We tried multiple anti depressants and high dosage of kolonopin because I also suffer with extreme anxiety(scared to talk in public,skip school from fear of crowd of peers, profuse sweating when in public) the anti depressants didn’t work and neither did the kpin. i started to abuse the kpin as well after another attempt to kill myself i was sent to a psych ward. I got out and back into hard drugs stealing and robbing. Anyways i hate my family i hate my “friends” i try to keep myself busy by being active constantly but the only thing that takes my mind off of how much i hate life is drugs. my self esteem is awful. i dont even know what im talking about but god i hate myself i just wish i knew what it was like to just be happy and like everyone else. I have nothing to live for but my drug use. there is so much more but i just want to be content with life and to be drug free or something awful is bound to happen.
Depression, Anxiety & Drug Abuse
I’m sorry that your life has been difficult. The truth is almost everyone faces painful life issues. No one is problem-free. Not even celebrities or billionaires. Problems are a part of everyone’s life. We should expect problems and more importantly, learn how to deal with them when they arise.
Drug use is often about escaping emotional pain. Of course you feel better on drugs, everyone does. When you’re high, you don’t have to think about unpleasant things. But most people recognize that if they use drugs, they risk ruining their lives.
You’re still young. There is a great deal of hope for you if you’re open to seeking help. You also must be persistent. Many people overcome drug use but it doesn’t happen instantaneously. It takes time, work, patience and a commitment to change.
I would recommend alcoholics and/or narcotics anonymous. You should also enter rehabilitation if necessary and immediately begin counseling. In counseling, you can learn critical problem solving skills so that you won’t feel compelled to turn to drugs.
If you’re willing to try, then you can succeed. I strongly believe that and so should you. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle