A: From what you are describing here, I think you have done exactly the right thing by breaking it off with him and attempting to go on with your life. Both you and your son will benefit from having a stable and consistent life. Whether or not your ex-boyfriend has a mental illness, or just needs to grow up, he is the only one who can change his life. You can’t fix him. He needs to do that himself, and chances are that he won’t put in the work as long as he can pull you back in.
It is always heartbreaking when you love someone but can’t make the relationship work out. It is even more heartbreaking when there are children involved. However, children thrive in environments that are loving, supportive and consistent. Focus your energy on taking care of yourself and your son and leave the guilt behind. I hope that your ex gets the help he needs so he can at least be a good father some day, but it sounds like he has a long way to go. Just remember that you are not responsible for his journey.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts