Home » Ask the Therapist » Jealousy in My Long Distance Relationship

Jealousy in My Long Distance Relationship

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I’ve been with my partner for 3 years now! She’s the first person I’ve ever been in love with. I’ve never been the jealous type, until now. The first 2 years together have been perfect, but in out 3rd year, things have been rough. She recently joined a sorority and its made me feel left out. It’s bad enough that we’re long distance, and adding the jealousy just makes everything worse. I feel like she’ll never love/like me as much as she does her sorority sisters. We don’t do some of the stuff we used to do anymore because she’s always busy. How can I stop being jealous before I ruin the best thing thats ever happened to me?

Jealousy in My Long Distance Relationship

Answered by on -


The work here is to find a way to celebrate her relationships with her girlfriends. You cannot be the sole connection. Everything we know about health and well-being suggests that the volume of good relationships we have is important. You don’t want her to be dependent on your for all her emotional needs.

I would encourage you to develop some of your own guy friendships. Your emotional needs shouldn’t only be in orbit around her. Both of you may be primary in each other’s lives, but not to the degree that it limits connection to others.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Jealousy in My Long Distance Relationship

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Jealousy in My Long Distance Relationship. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.