In the American mental health system, recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies involving sexual activity with a prepubescent child, 13 years or younger, is considered pedophilia. Pedophilia affects approximately 3 to 5% of the male population in the United States. Many individuals with pedophilia indicate their becoming aware of a sexual interest in children around the time of puberty.
I am not familiar with the specific laws in your country, but in the United States individuals who engage in sexual activity with children are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Many of these individuals spend decades or longer in prison. If they are let out of prison, they face heavy restrictions regarding their residency and are mandated to report their whereabouts, sometimes on a monthly basis, to the government. This is done to protect children from further victimization.
I provided the aforementioned information to caution you about the potential risks of not proactively addressing this issue. The main concern about your sexual fantasies involving children is your potential ability to control your behavior. I base this on your admission that “this thing is taking over my body and I can’t mentally handle it.” That statement indicates that you soon may be unable to control your behavior. The fear is that you will victimize children.
At this point, you are only having fantasies but the time to act is now. You must do everything within your power to prevent yourself from acting on your fantasies. In my opinion, this involves entering professional treatment. You’re worried that your parents will find out about your fantasies if you were to go into therapy, but that shouldn’t happen. In the mental health system, privacy is a high priority. It’s also the law here in America. Except in rare circumstances, therapists are not legally permitted to reveal information that is shared between themselves and their clients. The same may be true in your country.
I hope that my response convinces you to seek mental health treatment. Counseling could assist you in controlling your behavior. Most importantly, it could prevent the harm of innocent children and or your going to prison. In cases like these it’s best to be proactive. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle