Fear and anxiety seem to be your biggest issues. They are holding you back in life. When your anxiety level spikes, you flee the situation. Every time you flee a high-anxiety situation, you inadvertently make your anxiety worse. That is the progressive nature of anxiety. Without intervention, it tends to become worse.
You describe your behavior as being self-sabotaging. I take that expression to mean that you are not forcing yourself to do difficult things because of your fears. In that regard, it is self-sabotage because running away from difficult or anxiety-producing situations only reinforces and strengthens your fears.
Anxiety is treatable. There are effective interventions that could help you. I would highly recommend counseling. Cognitive behavioral therapy is quite effective, as are other types of treatments. Medication might also help to reduce your anxiety. Many people find that the combination of medication and psychotherapy works best for anxiety problems.
The best way to overcome one’s fears is to face them. In everyday practice, that would mean consistently enduring and tolerating anxiety-producing situations rather than fleeing them. But there’s no reason to do this alone. Professional help can expedite the intervention process and provide support that will help you to overcome your fears.
At 23, you are still very young. You are not that far away from where you want to be. Based on what you wrote, your goals are to get your driver’s license and get a job. With treatment, those are very achievable goals. It might only take a few counseling sessions for you to begin to get your anxiety under control. At that point, you might feel ready to do the things that you have been wanting to do. I wish you the best of luck. Please take care. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle