It’s important to correct a misnomer about young men and violence. While male adolescents engage in violence more than female adolescents, it’s not the norm. Violence is an aberration, not an expectation of young males.
If I had the opportunity to ask you a follow up question, I would inquire about what you mean by “kinda snapped.” I also wonder what was it that made you “snap.”
You said that after this incident, you no longer felt emotions. You then began to experience an urge to kill. You also described life as being “easier.” I’m assuming it’s because you no longer feel that you have to care about what other people think. You might see that as freeing.
You asked whether or not you should be concerned about the fact that you now have an urge to kill. The answer is yes. It is not normal or healthy to want to hurt people or animals.
At this point in time, you have nearly full control of your urges. The major concern is that your urges will lead to actions. Urges may be controllable, but there may come a time when you are no longer able to resist your urges.
I would highly recommend that you consult a mental health professional. In counseling, you can review the incident that led to your inability to feel emotions and learn how to maintain control over your unhealthy urges. Therapy can redirect you onto a healthier, less dangerous path. I firmly believe that counseling could help you. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle