Hello thank you for having this site and also for taking time to read this post. I honestly don’t know where to start I just know I’m slowly dying inside and I have no way out of it. I’m about to turn 27 I have no job, I’m not in school, barley have a social life because I watch my younger sibling while my mom works. When I finally go somewhere I have to act like im happy to be there but in reality I would rather be home laying in the dark by myself. I’ve considered so many times committing suicide because I feel like wasted space. My anger has gotten out of control I get so mad then so sad in a blink of and eye I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me I’ve considered getting help but I can’t handle the judgement and me being this way is causing issues between me and my mom and my little sister gets so upset when I’m upset that it makes it far far worst I know I need help I just don’t know what to do being that I have no income or health insurance I can’t seek the help I need I’m just add to at a cross road.Depressed and at My Breaking Point
Depressed and at My Breaking Point
I appreciate you writing us here at PsychCentral. I think we want to approach this from three perspectives. First, I think it is important for you to get treatment for your depression. It is time to find a therapist and the Find Help tab at the top of the page can help you do so. You can also call the local hospital to find the nearest clinic. They have help on a sliding scale if you do not have insurance. Along these same lines you can join the PsychCentral Forums. They can help as both a resource and support.
Secondly, from a practical point of view, the fact that you are staying at home watching your little sister is likely at the core of the problem. At 27 you are stuck in your family system and need to be given an opportunity to grow. I would find ways to unhook yourself from the full time job of supporting your mother’s job. There may be friends, relatives, or a cooperative group of parents that could help. You need time to be out getting your own job or going to school.
Finally, it sounds like it is time for you to develop new friendships, meet new people and start having goals out in the world. Your new therapist should be able to help in this regard, but I wouldn’t wait. Start looking for ways to change your daily and weekly pattern by getting out with others.