From the U.S.: My mom has been in rehab five times cause of drugs. she’s done them since I was 15. now she’s worse then ever and I’ve tried to help her but she keeps going back to drugs . And I need to know what to do. I’m up all night thinking about her and if she’s in some drug house dying I don’t know what to do. I can’t sleep at night either cause it seems my brain won’t stop thinking about her an where she is. everyone has given up on her but me. she’s not talking to me now she’s dating a drug dealer an I saw this site pleas give me advice on what to do

A: I’m so very sorry you’ve had to grow up under the shadow of your mom’s drug addiction. Sadly, there isn’t much you can do beyond what you already have. You can tell her you love her and that you want her to stop. You can advise her to go back to rehab. But if she is dating a dealer and using, chances are she isn’t ready to listen to you.

I strongly urge you to find an Al-anon chapter near you. Al-anon is an organization that helps and supports people who are connected to people who are abusing alcohol and drugs. The people there all share the same problem. They will help you learn how to detach from her destructive behavior without detaching entirely from her. You will not be asked to abandon your mother. But you will be helped to separate enough so her addiction doesn’t tear you apart.

Here’s a website that may be helpful:

Meanwhile, do everything you can to make a healthy life for yourself. Find positive friends. Look for work that you find rewarding. Take care of your own health. You owe it to yourself to do a better job of taking care of you than your mother did.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie