Your mom is right that most teens go through lots of ups and downs in their feelings but that doesn’t mean they aren’t real. My guess is that finding out you were self-injuring scared her. What you interpreted as her not caring was possibly that she didn’t know what to say. Apparently, you did have some good talks or something because you stopped hurting yourself, but it sounds like you need her to let you know that she loves you and cares about you. She may take it for granted that of course you know she loves you. But sometimes it’s hard for kids to remember that if they don’t hear it. Your mom is out of the country right now which means you are alone with your thoughts and you can’t have a sit down heart to heart with her. I hope she’s returning soon so you can have a serious talk. Please consider showing her your letter and this response as a way to get started.
In the meantime, if you need someone to talk to, you could call the Boys and Girls Town Hotline. Counselors are available 24/7 to talk to teens like you. It’s free and confidential. Their number is: 1-800-448-3000
I wish you well