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Don’t Know How To Be a Friend

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I’ve been friends for a while with someone but we talk about movies and tv shows and stuff like that but never personal stuff like family and favorite colors and stuff. I myself don’t open up much, i have to be asked. So this is my issue, how do i broach the topic b/c i feel like they’re like me and don’t wanna share???

Don’t Know How To Be a Friend

Answered by on -


Thank you for asking this important question.

Being a good friend takes work. It often means you need to be a bit vulnerable as well. I would suggest you talk about something that may have been a problem in the past but that you have resolved it. Talking about something personal that has happened to you is an easy way to get started.

We tell stories to one another and when we do — our friends learn about who we are — and we learn about them. Stories that have a beginning middle and end that aren’t currently very painful are the best place to start. This helps each of you disclose more to the other and the bonds of friendship grow from there.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Don’t Know How To Be a Friend

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Don’t Know How To Be a Friend. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 23, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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