A: Thanks for writing in with your question. It sounds like your fears and obsessions are getting worse and you are becoming miserable. I cannot offer an official diagnosis without a formal evaluation, but it sounds like you might be suffering from an anxiety disorder. Especially since you mentioned that you have had anxious feelings since being very young.
The good news is that anxiety disorders are very, very treatable. The bad news is that they can get worse (as evidenced by your question) if they go untreated. I urge you to find a mental health professional soon so you can get your life back. You would most likely benefit from seeing both a therapist and a psychiatrist to get the most symptom relief.
Sometimes with anxiety disorders, small fears can eventually turn into obsessions. The more you try not to think about it, the more you think about it. It becomes a vicious cycle. However, most of the things we fear never really happen.
Please seek out professional help soon. Depending on your situation, you may need to ask your parents for help with this. In the meantime, you might find it helpful to develop a positive self-statement or mantra that you repeat to yourself when you are scared. It makes it even more powerful to also think of a place or image that brings up feelings of safety for you. Good luck.
All the best,
Dr. Holly Counts