Sadly, not everyone gets the family a child should have. As much as you’d like things to be different, you can’t make your mother be the mother she should be. You’ve done all a person can do to give your mother a chance to be a decent person now in spite of the history of abuse. It hasn’t worked. It’s not going to work.
It’s time you turned your eyes and your heart to the family you are making instead of the one you were born to. You’ve found love. You are married and now have a child who needs you to be the mother you should have had but didn’t get. Pour your time and your love into your relationships with your husband and little boy. You’ll get far more than you give.
A family is a way of feeling. It’s not biology. You don’t need your bio-mother to mother you. You do need some older and wiser women in your life who love you and appreciate you and who can give you some friendly advice and comfort when you need it. Please consider getting involved in a house of worship or an organization that attracts women of all ages. Offer your help and the friendships will come. The best way to find supportive and friendly people is to be one.
I wish you well.