For the past few years I seem to be having a real difficult time accepting the fact that people move on in life, even if that means without me.
I will explain briefly. Around 3 years ago I moved away from a city I lived in for 13 years. I left behind so many friends, at least I thought I did. Using social media I have tried to stay in contact but I feel like I am already forgotten. I have also contacted people I have not seen for 20 years. If the roles were reversed I would be happy to hear from an old acquaintance. I am either not getting any feedback at all or very vague responses.
Am I expecting too much? How is it so easy for others to move on but I seem to be holding on to the past? In a nutshell I just want my old life back from 3 years ago. I should have never moved.
Thank you for sending in your email. In every stage of development there is a period of struggle. The chick doesn’t get out of the egg by pulling down the zipper, it has to crack through the shell to be released and have a life. The butterfly doesn’t easily get out of the cocoon.
This is a time for you to decide what to do and want in life — and to make it happen. First, I would find people who share your interests and passions. What hobbies do you have? What are you good at? What would you like to learn more about? The idea is to find groups of like-minded people and start making the connections. You were willing to reach out to old friends, now it is time to reach out for new ones.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Moving On In Life as I Age. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 24, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/03/26/moving-on-in-life-as-i-age/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.