I am 30 years old, and have been attracted to young boys since I was about 15. Though I have never acted on this with anyone, this seems to be the only attraction I have, and I wish it would just go away. I know it’s wrong and I don’t want to hurt anyone, so should I just kill myself to ensure that I will never hurt a child?Should I Kill Myself If I’m a Pedophile?
Should I Kill Myself If I’m a Pedophile?
My answer to your question is emphatically no. Though you have experienced an attraction to young boys, you have never harmed anyone.
You have maintained control of your behavior for the last 15 years. Perhaps you’re worried that you will lose control and hurt someone. Your history of maintaining self-control suggests that you will not behave inappropriately, but if you believe that you might lose control, then you must seek help immediately.
The most responsible course of action is to seek psychotherapy. Entering psychotherapy can ensure that your behavior is being monitored. A therapist could also assist you in developing relationships with adults. Pharmacological interventions might also assist in decreasing your inappropriate sexual thoughts.
At this point in time, you have not harmed anyone. You have been able to control your behavior. Therapy will assist you in ensuring that you never act out inappropriately and hurt a child. I hope that you will consider my recommendation. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle