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I know I have a Problem, I just don’t know what!

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I am 14, and I am really quiet. I usually go about a day to a week without speaking to anyone besides my parents. I have a unique style in clothing and have gotten bullied for it. I hate talking to people, it terrifies me! I get lightheaded, I sweat and I can barely form words. I am a straight a student, and I participate in numerous clubs. I love public speaking, but any sort of one on one interaction, I freak out. If I am the group leader on an assignment, I just let everyone do what they want and do the work myself. I began “scraping” myself with a razor (not breaking skin, but basically cutting) and have no friends anymore. My best friend, we will call him Scott, he and I were super close. Then, when I began to be silent, he just grew apart from me. I realized I have feelings for him, but I can’t get up the nerve to say anything, to anyone, especially not him! I have no self confidence, and I am teased a lot for being a “boy” I am a female, but I hate dresses, skirts, and all girls clothing. I used to hang out with boys, and I burp, pass gas, and act in public. But now, I don’t make a sound. People have begun calling me emo again because I dress differently and listen to different music. The only reason people talk to me is for homework help, or to mess with me. People call me mouse or guinea pig because I am so quiet and a girl in the locker room pulled down my shorts to show the scars I Had on my hips. She then laughed and called me emo, and told me I would die a virgin, so why not die now. I don’t know what all is wrong with me, but I know there is at least one thing. Can you help please?

I know I have a Problem, I just don’t know what!

Answered by on -


Thank you for having the courage to write about bullying. It sounds like what is wrong has to do with how you have been treated. The good news is that it sounds like you know how to make connections when you want to be able to speak in public, having many contacts in a number of clubs, and doing great in school. These are strong positive elements for you and indication of your strengths. I suspect you have many more and invite you to talk to your school counselor about the bullying. School counselors are trained now to help, and being able to talk about what is happening with a trusted adult would be an important place to begin.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I know I have a Problem, I just don’t know what!

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I know I have a Problem, I just don’t know what!. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 28, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 27 Feb 2014)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.