It is your opinion that your lack of extreme emotion is preventing you from developing certain relationships but I’m not certain that your self-assessment is accurate. Generally speaking, extremes in emotion are a sign of psychological instability and possibly a mental illness. For instance, individuals with bipolar disorder experience intense periods of happiness and sadness. Those intense periods of sadness and depression are referred to as episodes. Treatments for bipolar disorder attempt to balance one’s emotional state.
Psychologically healthy people have stable moods. We all experience periods of mood instability from time to time due to illness and sleep deprivation, among other reasons but those periods should be fleeting and short-lived. Extremes in emotion are draining and unsustainable. The fact that you lack these extremes in emotion is indicative of psychological stability and not necessarily a deficit or a problem.
Consulting a mental health professional would be advantageous primarily because it would afford you the opportunity for an objective evaluation. It’s possible that you are correct, and there is a deficit in your emotional response, but each situation would have to be assessed and dissected. A clinician could analyze those situations and determine if your emotional reaction was appropriate or not and advise you accordingly. You may only need a few counseling sessions to determine if anything is wrong and to learn the appropriate skills for dealing with certain situations. Counseling could be very beneficial for you. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle