I can’t determine if you have schizophrenia based upon a brief correspondence. Though I cannot provide a diagnosis over the Internet, your symptoms are concerning. Your thoughts are not reality-based. For instance, you described feeling nonhuman, having extraordinary powers and believing that people can read your mind. None of those things could be true yet they feel very real to you. You seem to have had a break with reality, also known as psychosis. Psychosis is associated with disorders such as schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.
You said that you “don’t let yourself sleep.” Your lack of sleep is likely exacerbating your symptoms. Without the proper sleep, your symptoms will worsen.
It seems as though you are in frequent contact with mental health professionals. You should immediately report your symptoms to them. Your treatment team may want to change your medication and revise your treatment plan. Changes to your medicine could stabilize your symptoms and allow you to function normally again. Tell them about your symptoms immediately.
Your safety, and the safety of others, is of paramount concern. It’s alarming that you recently felt compelled to protect yourself with a steak knife from an imaginary attacker. Surely, this incident frightened your family. If you feel as though you may be a danger to yourself or to others, call emergency services. Don’t hesitate to call for help. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle