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Afraid of Expressing My Opinion

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I am 22 years old and have been in a relationship with a man the same age for 3 years. My partner is very passionate and knows exactly what he wants out of life. I on the other hand, have no direction in life, despite the fact that I finished college in 3 years with a high GPA. It’s not that I’m not capable of getting a great job, it’s just that I don’t know what I want to do. My real goal is to raise a beautiful family. Anyway, I am constantly afraid of standing up for myself or expressing my own opinion in fear that my partner will leave me for not agreeing with him. I envy fierce, powerful women who can say exactly what is on their mind. I want to be more open and honest with my partner, but I’m afraid to. How can I overcome this?

Afraid of Expressing My Opinion

Answered by on -


Thank you for asking this important question and, of course, speaking up for what you need. I wouldn’t approach this as some deep-seated issue; rather I would look at it as a skill. Most communities, and perhaps even your women’s center, would have an assertiveness course, which I would highly recommend for you. This is the skill that you need to learn and a brief course in this would be wonderful. There are also many books on the subject and I would go to the bookstore or library and find one that appeals to you to get started. Speaking up is a skillset that can be learned very readily.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Afraid of Expressing My Opinion

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Afraid of Expressing My Opinion. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
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